Back-to-School Transitions: Psychologist Nisan Erkan on Helping Children Cope

She noted that children not only change classrooms but also experience shifts in emotions, relationships, and expectations, bringing excitement, curiosity, and anxiety. She emphasized that the goal is not “zero anxiety,” but developing functional coping skills.

Erkan described transitions—from preschool to primary school, primary to middle school, or middle to high school—as natural thresholds that test children’s sense of security while offering opportunities to strengthen resilience.

Guidance for Parents:

• Acknowledge feelings: Name emotions with simple statements like, “The first days can be challenging; I’ll be with you.” Avoid minimizing feelings with phrases like “You’ll get used to it.”

• Manage your own anxiety: Provide information calmly and limit negative talk about school at home.

• Warm up routines: Establish short, repeating routines for sleep, meals, and screen time; use gentle, consistent steps rather than threats.

• Use small steps: Micro-goals such as “Say hello to your teacher today” help children focus on effort.

• Keep goodbyes brief and consistent: Repeating the same words and gestures reduces anxiety.

• Communicate with teachers: Share observations and get feedback to create coordinated support.

• Recognize red flags: Persistent severe stomachaches, school refusal, sleep/appetite changes, withdrawal, or outbursts after 3–4 weeks may require professional evaluation.

Erkan stressed that adaptation is not a race, and each child progresses at their own pace. She encouraged curiosity, offering structure and security, emphasizing effort, and respecting privacy for adolescents entering high school.

Common Pitfalls for Parents:

• Over-soothing: Instead of “Don’t be afraid,” guide children to problem-solve, e.g., “Let’s explore what helps when you feel scared.”

• Comparisons: Avoid remarks like “Your sibling adjusted immediately” or “Your friend never cried,” which can harm self-esteem.

Erkan concluded that carefully managed transitions enhance children’s resilience, self-regulation, and problem-solving skills. Observing emotions, praising small steps, and maintaining consistency are most effective. She wished everyone a developmental and successful school year.